


Where To Go From Here

by spaceyheir



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Curses, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Multi, One-sided Lams, Regained Memories, Smut, first fic, its in ch 5, just saying you might wanna skip it for your own sanity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-22 18:46:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11386191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceyheir/pseuds/spaceyheir
Summary: Fan sequel to As Glory Turns to Dust. Because we need a happy ending.-------In which Alex gets what he wants; if only he knew what to do with it.





	1. Small Blessings

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [As Glory Turns to Dust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359656) by [roseclipping](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseclipping/pseuds/roseclipping). 



Alex came to love living on the outskirts of New York City. Sure, it was irritating whenever the owners brought someone around for a showing, but it didn’t happen all that often. He supposes only having to spend a single night at a motel was one small blessing of being forgotten.

After fleeing Thomas’s apartment that night, Alexander Hamilton had been inconsolable - or at least he would have been if there was anyone left who could remember _to_ console him. He considered just ending it all, ending this miserable half-existence. He’d actually tried once, but found it impossible to follow through. He thought he lost his lifeline, his one tether tying him to this world when no one else could, but there was something deep within that wouldn’t let Alex escape that easily. Was it some small shred of hope he didn’t realize he still possessed? Or was it another side effect of the curse, condemning him to a full lifetime of loneliness?

The thought of such a thouroughly cruel fate lead Alex back to another bar. Turns out, you don’t have to pay a tab if the bartender doesn’t remember it the next night.

—-

It took a while, but eventually he more or less came to terms with his circumstances. Alex steeled his resolve, determined to live with this curse and live as well as he could manage. If not for his own sanity, then at least to spite the witch who cursed him. 

A bit of wandering had lead Alex of the outskirts of NYC - or at least what would be the outskirts if the city had any. The homes in the area were moderately spaced out, and in differing states of repair and ownership. He was lucky, relatively, to find an empty two-story, unkempt and lonely behind its overgrown yard. A perfect fit.

Apparently, it was just slightly too much of a fixer-upper for it to be taken off the market. Not that Alex would complain; all he needed was a roof over his head. A bit a sweeping, dusting, screaming followed by spider-killing, and it was habitable. It was almost even homey, if it weren’t so goddamn quiet. 

It was the quiet that killed him the most. Before everything had gone to shit, he might’ve killed for some peace, but now it was overwhelmingly oppressive. He missed his friends. He missed his family. Most of all, he missed Thomas.

Thomas Jefferson, a man Alexander had hated from the day they met. The first person Alex would have cheered to have leave his life. The last person Alex would have expected to fall in love with.

The last person to forget that Alexander Hamilton existed.

Five years he’d held on. Five fucking hopeful years, where Alex almost began to believe he could have some semblance of happiness and normality. Almost. It was too good to be true, too good to last. _Thomas_ was too good to last.

Aaron Burr had forgotten Alex within a day. John Laurens, two weeks. Eliza, his girlfriend, former love of his life, gave him two months. And Thomas fucking Jefferson remembered him just long enough to completely break his heart.

It was enough to make him laugh.

It was enough to turn the laugh into a sob, and a sob into ragged gasps for breath as he cried his soul out onto a dusty floor.

—-

Alex sighs in frustration as his computer blue screens once more. He expects it. He found it free on a street corner, so he has no right to be mad at it. It was doing its best even after its previous owner deemed it worthless. Alex gives it a small pat of reassurance and immediately buries his head in his hands. This is it, he’s treating a computer like a small child. He’s finally fucking lost it.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he glances at the time. 6:43. _Damn, wrote straight through the night again._ Pushing his chair away from his desk, arching his back and wincing at the series of loud _pops! > that follow. He really should work on his posture._

Alex stands, thankful for the small mercy the universe showed him by allowing his papers to finish printing before the computer gave out. He slides the pages into a folder, placing it next to a pile of similarly organized writings. He’d quickly realized any electronic records he kept simply disappears without warning, but papers didn’t. At least there would be some small evidence of his existence after he was gone. 

Speaking of gone, he’s late starting his routine. With yet another sigh, he grabs his coat and keys (amazing what a forged deed and a meeting with an already aging and forgetful owner can do) and locks up before beginning his stroll down the lane. He walks quickly, knowing by heart that Mr. McCourt will be arriving home after his graveyard shift at the museum any minute now, and that if he catches Alex he’ll be caught in a 30 minute conversation marvelling at home Alex managed to move in by himself in one afternoon. That is not a delay to revisit, so Alex steps lively down the street.

He does, however, stop in front of Mrs. Halgen’s yard, where the frail elderly woman is tending her garden.

“Good morning, ma'am,” Alex smiles charmingly. Mrs. Halgen squints up at the interruption, then returns the smile.

“Hallo, son. Lovely mornin’ isn’ it?” She returns her attention to her dahlias, clipping off a dead head before looking back up. “Are you new ta the neighborhood? I don’ believe I’ve seen ya before.” _Like an old song on the radio_

“Yes, ma'am. I just moved in down the block, the old Johnsons’ place.” _Familiar_

Her smile widens. “Lovely family, lovely home. Its been empty so long, it’ll be nice to see it lived in again. Say, why don’t I stop by later with some brownies? We’ll have a right ol’ housewarmin’ party.” _I know the words by heart_

Alex returns the smile. “Sounds wonderful ma'am. I’ll see you later.” She waves him goodbye as he turns and leaves. He knows the brownies will never come, but that’s okay. The comfort is in the conversation.

_Small blessings._

—–

It’s like that everywhere Alex goes. Avoiding conversations he’d rather not have, taking breaks to strike up casual ones he does. He waits until 8:30 to step into Gratton’s Stationary, knowing Charlie - asshole extrodarinaire - steps into the break room for a quick cup of coffee for 5 minutes while Arianne - standing at 4'11" as a literal small blessing - stops restocking to take overthe counter. He grabs the ink and paper refills for his printer, charms Arianne for a few minutes, acts like he can’t believe he forgot his wallet and “don’t worry, I can start a tab for you~” and he thanks her profusely and leaves as she already starts forgetting his face.

—–

It isn’t until nearly lunchtime that Alex encounters a variation to his routine. He’s humming to himself, taking a shortcut through some back alleys and warehouses. Not the safest route, but he’s never been bad in a fight, if he does say so himself. Plus, it helps break up the monotony.

He almost lets out a cheerful laugh as a figure suddenly lurches from around a corner, but the sound dies in his throat almost as suddenly as he takes in who it is.

Dark curls cascading past a heart shaped face. Full lips quirked cruelly beneath bright red eyes. The world behind her seems to fade momentarily into soft, warm colours, accompanied by an unseen chorus whispering a single word he can’t quite make out. Alex doesn’t realize his hands have gone numb until he hears his bags hit the ground. He doesn’t care, but it does bring him back to reality. He takes half a step back.

“Y-you… what are you doing here?” He can’t help the way his voice breaks, but damnit, how else do you respond to seeing the woman who singlehandedly ruined your life 7 years ago?

He expects her to glare. He expects anger, hatred, disdain. He does _not_ expect the absolutely giddy laugh that she gives instead. Alexander didn’t think it possible, but that frightens him more than anything else could have. 

“Oooh, you’re that whoreson I cursed nearly a decade ago, aren’t you? Why, I can see it in your eyes! You’re wonderfully miserable, aren’t you?” She claps her hands together excitedly, sounding to all the world like a kid in a candy shop. Alex hears an absolutely pitiful whimper, surprises himself slightly when he realizes it came from him. He should be angry at the insult, but all he can manage iat the moment is fear. “Oh, do tell. How has it been, everyone you have ever known forgetting about you?”

Tears sneak their way down his face, surprising him again. His heart aches for a moment as he remembers that night with Thomas, how he broke down without warning against the other man. Alex had to take a sobbing gasp of a breath to prevent a spontaneous repeat.

“P-please, just let me go. I’ve already- already paid for my dis-disrespect. Please don’t-” _Please don’t what? She’s already taken everything from you._ A small, rational part of him tries to argue, but the larger part is sinking him to his knees, sobbing brokenly in an alley, praying silently to whoever might be listening that she doesn’t take what little he’s held onto.

Unbeknownst to Alex, the witch’s eyes softened at the pathetic sight before her. He was just so delectably shattered. Still, it was somewhat annoying. “Oh, come now. Have some decorum. Up, up, stand up.” Her voice was disdainful, but somehow compelling, and he was standing almost as suddenly as he had fallen.

“You’re lucky, you bastard. You’ve caught me in a good mood, and you’re so damn pitiful I think I’ll take mercy on you. You’ve learned your lesson on disrespect, haven’t you, Alexander?” Once again, Alex felt compelled to move, although this time he nodded. Whether it was a subconscious movement or more manipulation, it seems to satisfy the witch. He watches as the boundaries of her face shimmer and blur. He watches as the walls behind her crack and shatter into searing lightning bolts. 

“What was it I took exactly?” Her voices echoes around him, bouncing and harmonizing ith the deafening thunder of the walls. _Deafening? But there’s always been sound, there can never_ not _be sound. So that’s redundant right? Right?_

“Oh, yes. Your _legacy._ Delightful curse, if I do say so myself.” She laughs, and the sound should be lost in the cacophony surrounding them, but it bounces and reverberates and Alex can’t even see her anymore, the light is blinding. _Blinding. It’s like deafening, it can’t be be because there’s always been light and sound and there can never not be._ Alex’s thoughts are racing, he can’t focus on what she’s saying, his mind is everywhere, like it always has been, always will be, can never not be everywhere. He only catches the finale of her monologue - “ _and so everything will be_ just exactly _as it was before. Congratulations._ ” - before the lights and sounds do the impossible by not being.

—–

Alex has the strangest feeling of deja vu as he wakes up inside an abandoned warehouse, bags lying beside him. He sits up, holding his head as he’s struck with a sudden, sharp pain behind his eyes. He relives the bright light, the wash of sound, the resounding chorus crying “ _LEGACY_ ” in a seemingly endless echo before the moment passes and he recalls what just happened.

Hands shaking, he takes out his cell phone (a cheap renewable Trac phone, since any contact he signs lasts about 3 hours) and dials a number he’s had memorized for years. Praying that it hasn’t changed, Alex let’s out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he heard the familiar voice on the other end.

“Hello?” 

“John?”

“Who is th- wait, Alex, is that you?! ” 

Alex could have cried hearing his name coming from the receiver. “Y-yeah, it’s me.”

The voice on the line sounded close to tears itself. “God, where have you been? It’s been 7 years! E-everyone thought you were dead.” Alex could swear he heard a sob. “Never mind that right now. Just t-tell me where you are, I’ll come pick you up.”

“Uh, come by main and 13th, near the warehouses.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in 20…..God, Alex, we’ve missed you so damn much.”

“Ditto. See ya soon.” 

He ended the call, burying his face in his hands. _It’s gone. The curse is actually gone._

He made his way to the meeting place, collapsing against the wall. _God, it’s like they never forgot. Like I just up and vanished._ He thought of Eliza, and how worried she must have been. John, Herc, Lafayette. His heart clenched painfully as he thought of Thomas. _He’s not going to remember what we had. Five years, still gone._

__

__

_Where do I go from here?_

—–

John found Alex 15 minutes later, inconsolable against the metal walls. At least he was there to be able to try - a small blessing.


	2. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex tells a story and throws an eventful party.

Alex had expected his welcoming to last longer, but given that the only people John could gather at the moment were Eliza, Maria Reynolds and Aaron, the quick shift to questions didn't surprise him. He still wishes he had more time to prepare.

 _Maybe I should have taken a few minutes to think before I called_ , he thinks nervously as his friends wait with expectant eyes. If he had, maybe he'd have a decently believable explanation for where he apparently disappeared for seven years. Unfortunately he hadn't, so when he blurts out the first thing to come to him, he rolls with it.

"Well, you see it's kind of a funny story. I, uh, got amnesia." _Wow. Smooth, Alexander._ He rubs the back of his head absently, avoiding eye contact as he continues. "Yeah, I'm still not entirely sure _what_ happened, but I woke up in a hospital in Albany, no clue who I was or how I got there. I guess I had a couple hundred dollars on me, so after i was released I checked into a motel. I basically stayed there and made ends meet writing online."

Taking a breath, he looks up and smiles at Eliza. "I actually have you to thank, Betsey. I saw the article about the orphanage you volunteer at, and everything just came rushing back to me." Eliza blushes at the sentiment, and Alex continues with more confidence. "Long story short, I packed up, moved into a house out on the outskirts, and called John as soon as I remembered his number." 

Aaron leans over and gives John a teasing grin as he smacks him playfully on the arm. "Damn good thing you haven't changed your number since high school." 

John laughs out loud and raises his glass. "Cheers to that!" Elixa and Maria giggle as they lean over to clink their glasses together. Alex leans back in his chair and takes another breath. _Just like old times. Speaking of....._

"Say, where are Laf and Herc? It's not like them to miss an opportunity to drink," he jokes. Mostly. After all, a lot can happen in seven years.

"Oh, don' worry bout them. They'll be here by tomorrow afternoon to drown you in tears and liquor. They already got tickets for the quickest flight outta France," John explains, taking a sip of his drink. Alex must have a strange look on his face, because Aaron chimes in.

"Honeymoon. Don't feel guilty about calling them home, though, they were due back any day now anyway."

"God, I get the feeling we're going to get drunk under the table tomorrow," Alex snorts. "I'll have to make sure to congratulate them." He glances around at the small assembly. "While we're on the topic, any other impirtant developments I missed?"

To his surprise, Maria was the one to respond. "Well, about two years after you vanished, I stole your girl." She raises her arm from whete it rested under the table, revealing her and Eliza's intertwined hands. Alex can't help but let his gaze be drawn to the ring on Eliza's finger. Maria notices and smiles almost apologetically. "Yeah, sorry not sorry, we made it official last spring."

Eliza had visibly tensed at her wife's declaration, watching Alex with anxious eyes the entire time she spoke. She nearly jumps out of her skin as he jumps out of his seat. She expects anger, disappointment, an outburst. Not him reaching over to shake first Maria's hand, then hers, grin fit to split his face in half.

"Guess I get to congratulate you two first! So, congrats!" 

His gaze lingers on Eliza, who's suddenly blinking back tears. Her voice comes out hoarse. "Y-you're not upset?"

Alex takes moderate offense, bringing one hand up to his heart, as though wounded. "Upset? That you found someone who makes you happy? Of course not!" _I moved on, Betsey. I don't know what I'd do if you hadn't._

She swipes at the tears threatening to escape, smiling widely. "W-we adopted a little boy three months ago. Philip. May-maybe we could bring him by your place tomorrow and introduce you?" She hiccups. Alex nods as he sits back down.

"That would be nice." He takes yet another breath, steeling himself to ask the question he's been putting off. "What about Tho-omas?" God, he hopes they didn't catch how his voice hitched on the name. He thinks Aaron might have, if his frown was anything to go by, but he's quickly disproven.

"He and James are down in Virginia at some sort of convention. According to James, they're stick in a stalemate, so I convinced them to come up tomorrow."

Alex gives a shaky laugh, hoping he doesn't sound _too_ relieved. "Well, maybe once Thomas starts arguing, this'll feel less like a good dream I'm about to wake up from." As his friends join in his laughter, his thoughts drift.

_Hopefully tomorrow doesn't turn into a nightmare instead._

\---------

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIING_

Alex groans, slaps absently at his alarm clock, rubs the sleep out of his eyes. _When was the last time I even slept in my bed? I've been working through the night or passing out at my desk for months._ Yawning, he runs a hand through his hair, swings his feet over the edge of his bed, and prepares to begin his daily routine when a piece of paper next to his clock catches his sleep-addled attention.

Lifting it up, he smiles as he inspects it closely. A group selfie John insisted on getting developed. Alex flips it over and chuckles. On the back everyone's names and numbers, including his own, have been scrawled in John's telltale chicken scratch writing.

" _Better safe than sorry," John replies defensively after Alex finishes teasing him, scribbling on the back of the freshly developed picture. "You already lost your memory once. This way, if it happens again, we won't have to wait seven more years to hear from you."_

_Alex sticks his tongue out childishly as the others laugh._

Proof that yesterday actually wasn't a dream. That he has a second chance to get his life back. And a reminder that he has lots of company coming over at noon and no food in the house. He glances at the clock. 7:13. Just under five hours to prepare.

He grabs his keys, pulls on his jacket. As he locks up, he's slightly thankful that the witch returned everything to as it was before the curse. He shuddered to think the kinds of bills his tabs would have collected otherwise.

A small blessing.

\---------

"Mon amie, if it were anyone but you I'd find it hard to believe the first thing you did after waking up with no memory was start writing," Lafayette grins, lounging against Hercules. They'd finally sat down after a surprisingly tearful reunion. _I expected it from Herc, but Laf's usually more even-tempered._ He has to remind himself that they thought he was MIA at best and dead at worst; his reaction would probably have been similar if their roles were swapped.

Watching them together, Alex has to admit they make a surprisingly attractive couple. He also has to admit that John nearly gives him a heart attack when he suddenly attempts to pull him into a one-armed hug from behind the couch.

"Pssssshh, I don't think anything short a death could keep Lexy from writing - and even then he'd probably try to haunt a typewriter." John tries to pinch his cheek, but Alex swats his hand away.

"Not gonna argue that point, but call me Lexy one more time and I'm banning you from the booze." He glances at the near-empty bottle hanging loosely in his friend's hand. "Scratch that, I think I'm banning you anyway. How did you drink so much in an hour?"

John grins, whispers conspiratorially to Alex: "Talent and determination, Lexy, talent and determination." He's still grinning even as Alex rises from the couch and takes the bottle from him. He _giggles_ when Alex grabs him by the wrist, and shoots a wink at Lafayette (who just smiles and rolls his eyes as Hercules laughs) when he's dragged down the hall towards the bedrooms. He only loses some of his cheer when Alex gently nudges him into the room but doesn't follow. Pouting, he tries patting the spot next to where he's seated himself, but Alex doesn't budge from where he's leaning against the wall.

"John, I love you, you're my best friend, but I think it'll do you some good to rest a bit." Once upon a time, the puppy eyes John was using would've been Alex's undoing, but that was a long time ago. And unfortunately for Alex, John seems to realize that he's not having the desired effect. _And here we go,_ Alex thinks as John rises from his spot on the bed, eyes half-lidded and a smirk that can only be described as 'sultry' beginning to appear. 

"Weeeelll, Lexy, rest isn't exactly what I had in mind," John purrs as he tries to wrap his arms around Alex's neck, only minorly discouraged when he's held at bay by a hand on his collar. Instead, he opts to place his hands against the wall on either side of Alex's head, effectively cornering him. 

Despite his disinterest in what John was trying to propose, Alex can't help the way his breath hitches when the other man leans down and breathes in his ear. "In fact, I was hoping for a bit of... _excercise_." He moves a hand down to Alex's neck, the light strokes eliciting an involuntary shiver from him.

 _Leave it to John to forget the day of the week, but not what buttons to push after almost fifteen fucking years,_ Alex thinks, biting his lip as he uses more willpower than he'd like to admit to push his friend back. Especially when John refuses to budge at first and he has to summon the fortitude a second time. The genuinely hurt and confused look John gives him in response is almost enough to make him reconsider. Almost.

"J-john, look, we can't do this. You're drunk, you just need to lie down for a bit," he insists, doing his best to steel his resolve against John's puppy eyes. He'll never know if John is just that drunk or that determined, but he keeps trying to reduce the new distance between them even as he pouts.

"C'mon, we used to do it all the time drunk, why not nooow," he whines. _God, it's like kicking a puppy....A very pushy, needy puppy,_ Alex thinks as he wards off the advances. _Okay, different tactics are needed._

Alex manages a teasing grin, and gently taps John's cheek to get his attention. "John, even _if_ I were up for it, there's nearly half a dozen people down the hall and nearly half a dozen more in the way, and if I'm remembering correctly-" he punctuates the last word with an affectionate pat. "-you're a screamer." 

At first, John doesn't respond, and Alex begins to worry that he offended him, but his fears are alleviated as John starts giggling. And then the giggles turn into full, deep laughter, and then Alex is escorting him back to the bed out of fear that John's about to collapse onto the floor. After a moment the fit passes, and John flops down and rolls over onto his stomach, resting his chin on his hands as he looks up at Alex. "You're right. You're almost always right. I guess I'll be a good boy and take a nap til I sober up." He almost sounds bitter, but he's grinning again, playful and relaxed and still a bit flirtatious - but Alex will take what he can get. 

"Good. I doubt the party's ending anytime soon, so, uh, rest up." Alex hovers awkwardly for a moment before gently throwing the covers over John, who tries and fails to stifle another giggle. Alex gives him one last smile, and begins to leave the room.

Before he closes the door, John calls out. "You can leave it unlocked. Y'know, just in case you change your mind." Alex just shakes his head and chuckles.

"Go to _sleep,_ John." He still smiling as he closes the door, and just misses the quiet sob on the other side.

\---------

Alex takes a moment to compose himself before reentering the living room, but he must still be a bit red in the face - he can feel the knowing grin Laf is giving him before he sees it. He makes his way back to the couch, and cuts the Frenchman off before he can speak. 

"Nothing happened, so don't even ask." It's Lafayette's turn to pout, upset at being interrupted before he could even begin to pry.

"You wound me, mon petite lion. How could you tell such an obvious lie to your most trusted of friends." The grin he gives Alex is borderline diabolical. "After all, that was a rather long time to be away for 'nothing'." 

"And it was a rather short time to be away for _something,"_ he retorted. If Alex weren't so focused on willing his lingering blush to fade, he might have been more offended by the fact that Lafayette thought that was an adequate amount of time for anything. "John _was_ being damn stubborn and it took me forever to convince him to nap." 

Hercules looks like he was about to comment when a knock at the front door interrupts him. He saw Eliza glance at the clock and smile. _Must be about time for Angelica or Peggy to arrive,_ he thinks as he jumps to his feet. He crosses the room, throws open the door, and is about to begin his mini welcoming monologue when time seems to stop. It's not a Schuyler sister at the door.

It's Thomas.

_And James,_ chides a small, annoying voice that Alex fully ignores.

Brain short-circuiting, he moves on auto-pilot. He smiles, opens the door wider, beckons them in. They step inside, James offers a "Glad to see you safe," that Alex acknowledges with a polite nod. He's almost back to functioning like a person when he meets Thomas's gaze. He catches the disdain in the look before Thomas turns without a word and crosses the room to talk to Aaron, James in tow.

Alex expected this. He expected the wave of disappointment to wash over him. He _didn't_ expect that wave to slam into him with enough force to make him dizzy, for waves of nausea to follow suit. He felt like he was drowning.

It must show on his face, because suddenly there is Eliza, hand on his arm as she leads him to the kitchen. He can feel her concern radiating off of her, but he's too preoccupied with trying to keep his breathing even to react to it. It isn't until she pulls up a chair next to him that he finally looks up.

"Alex, are you okay? You look pale. Are you not feeling well?" She gently takes his hand in hers, surprised at how clammy it felt. He manages a small smile, attempts to alleviate her worries.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just got dizzy is all. Must have stood up too fast." Eliza smiles back, still not totally relieved, but convinced. She stands, grabs a glass, fills it.

"Well, at least drink. You looked almost ready to pass out." A joke, mostly. He takes the glass gratefully; his mouth had been made of cotton since he opened the door. They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from the room over.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Eliza quietly exclaims. She smiles sheepishly as Alex almost drops his glass in surprise before continuing. "I've been meaning to ask since I got here. Before the accident, had you gotten fired from work? I could've sworn you'd said you got in trouble for punching a coworker, but when I asked Aaron, he insisted that you were still working the day you vanished."

Alex's heart skipped a beat. _She remembers?_ His mind froze again, shocked into paralysis by the implication. Eliza continues on, oblivious. "I mean, it's not important in the scheme of things, but I'd almost thought it was funny at the time-" she cuts herself off as a baby cries in the other room. "Oh, I better see what's wrong with Philip. I'll be back."

Alex just nods vaguely, still trying to comprehend the implications of what she said. _She remembered me getting fired. Could she be retrieving memories she made_ during _the curse? If so- ___

__His gaze wanders to where Thomas is standing, back turned to his, conversing with Aaron. He hadn't said a single word to Alex, hadn't even _smiled,_ but maybe hope wasn't completely lost._ _

__The thought was almost enough to make him jump for joy._ _

__Almost._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Holidays interfered with my writing schedule, but I should be back on track!
> 
> Also, I know we're here for the Jamilton happy ending, and I promise John's antics have a purpose. :)


	3. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex breaks down and Thomas learns the truth.

The rest of the get together is a blur to Alex. He takes note of Angelica and Peggy's actual arrival, and the dinner Eliza insists on making with the help of Lafayette, but the rest of the evening rushes by as he lingers over the hope of Thomas remembering their time together. Before he knows it, it's 8 o'clock, and Eliza says something about Philip's bed time. Maria nods, and suddenly everyone is saying goodbye. 

James gives him a friendly nod, Laf and Herc pull him into a bear hug, Peggy clings to his waist until Angelica pries her off and gives him a brief hug of her own. Aaron pats his shoulder and suddenly the house is silent. With a weary sigh, he makes his way back into the foyer, intending on resting a moment before going through his nightly routine. He almost makes it through the entryway when he sees a sight that freezes his blood.

Thomas Jefferson, looking through the folders chronicling his life after he left. _God, why him? Why_ now, _before his memories come back?_

He could swear the floor beneath him wasn't tilted before.

Thomas must hear him approach; he looks up from the pages, wearing a faint blush and a glare. "Alexander, what the hell are these?" He holds up one of the pages, and Alex immediately recognizes it as a letter. One of the letters he wrote to Thomas to keep him sane and grounded. They were never meant to be seen by anyone, especially not by the man holding them when he doesn't even remember the context they were written in. Alex tries to hide the panic he feels behind a glare of his own, attempts to snatch the pages away from Thomas. 

"Why are you going through my stuff in the first place?" He huffs as Thomas stands and raises the folder above Alex's reach. Alex struggles to reach, unsure of how much or what exactly Thomas has read so far, but desperate to keep it to a minimum. The taller man simply keeps his arms raised, and looks down at Alex.

"I thought it was weird that you had so many bookshelves full of folders. You said you did your writing online, so it didn't make sense for them to be work folders. Case in point-" he shakes the folder gently. "James abandoned me to talk to Aaron so I got bored and thought maybe you were trying to write a book or somethin. It wouldn't've been outta character for you to have a million rough drafts, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to take a look."

Alex pales. James and Aaron had been talking for _hours._ He looks past Thomas, sees a number of folders look slightly out of place. He swallows thickly as Thomas resumes speaking. "But instead, I find some weird ass letters, addressed to _me,_ where it looks like you have some creepy fantasy about us being together." 

"N-not true!" _Wow, Alex, way to sound convincing._ Thomas snorts at the feeble defense. 

"Oh, if the shoe fits, wear it. I mean, listen ta this-" he lowers the paper to eye level and reads:

_My dearest, Thomas, I miss you more terribly than I can put into words. Mayhap I never grow tired of prefacing my letters so._  
\---  
I write this on our first anniversary apart, and I can't help but retain a longing for our nights together. I know I swore to myself and to you to leave us behind, but I see you everytime I close my eyes. How can I possibly move on when you haunt my every waking hour?  
\---  
I long for the nights we had together, for the embraces we shared, every feather light touch and searing kiss. But more than that, I long for more such moments in the future. 

_\- Eternally yours, Alexander_

 

Alex gulps, tense and nervous. "I-I can explain-" He starts, but Thomas cuts him off with a shake of his head.

"It's pretty obvious what happened, Alexander." Alex blinks. Seeing no protest, Thomas continues, pacingas he speaks. "You got tired of living here for whatever reason - I won't pretend to know what - and so you decided to just up and vanish. Nothing left behind to trace where you might have gone, not a word of warning, because you didn't want any of this to follow you. You wrote these letters,and probably more to the others, to cope. But they didn't help, you didn't get whatever you were expecting outta leaving, and you missed what you left and came back with some cock and bull story about amnesia." 

Thomas realizes he is nearly yelling, takes a calming breath, and resumes. "I mean, ignoring the matter of content, there's way too many damn letters for you to have written them all in less than a week. This one is almost a year old, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that your story doesn't quite add up." He stops in front of Alex, jabbing a finger against his chest. "And then you have the gall to come waltzing back in with your BS and expect everyone to fall all over you, thrilled to see you safe and alive, and pretend that we weren't -that _I_ wasn't a fucking _wreck_ when we finally gave up hoping you'd come back." His voice had lowered to an angry whisper, unshed tears glistening in the low light. 

Alex releases a shaky breath he hadn't realized he was holding. The sudden shift from anger to hurt caught him completely off guard. If, before everything, he ever thought Thomas might care if he vanished, he certainly never expected him to admit it so plainly. Then again, what was it he thought all those years ago, when their relationship had just formed? _Maybe it wasn't pity._

Cautiously, Alex takes the hand Thomas is still pressing against his chest, lowers it but doesn't release. He maintains eye contact with Thomas, speaks in a low voice, hoping he can hear the sincerity. "Thomas, I promise you, I would _never_ leave behind anyone I care about. Least of all-" his breath caught; he hadn't expected the intensity in which he was being watched. He closes his eyes briefly, steeling himself. "L-least of all you. You mean the _world_ to me."

Alex waits a beat, then two. No response. He opens his eyes to reveal a _very_ red Thomas Jefferson. He's biting his lip, looking unsure ofwhat he wants to say. Alex waits, unsure himself of what he expects - or wants - to happen next. 

"I believe you." Alex raises an eyebrow in question. Thomas chews his lip again before speaking. "I mean, th-that you wouldn't just leave. But...what _did_ happen to you? There's still the unexplained letters." The intense stare returns, its ferocity no less despite its owner's flush. Alex fidgets, looks away.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

Alex looks up at Thomas, calculating his response. After a moment, he sighs in resignation. "I was cursed."

"Say what now."

He looks away again, nervous. "I-I pissed off a witch, and she cursed me to be forgotten by everyone. A-and I ran into her yesterday for the first time since, and I guess she thought I learned my lesson and removed it. And that's the truth."

There's a moment of silence. "Bullshit." 

Alex shakes his head sadly and sighs. "I told you you wouldn't believe me."

Thomas looks as though he's about to say sometging biting, but something must be showing on Alex's face, because instead he bites his tongue and goes a different route. "Okay, say that's true. Where do the letters come in?" 

How much to tell him? _You've come this far, Alexander, might as well commit._ "Well, everyone didn't forget right away, but they all eventually did. You were the last person to remember me. Y-you actually thought I was on drugs when Eliza forgot and I tried to explain when I ran into you. But you invited James over, and James didn't remember, and that's how I convinced you back then." He laughs a little, a sharp brittle sound, like shattering glass. He must be crying, because suddenly Thomas is wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb. It's takes all Alex can do to keep himself from leaning into the touch. "A-anyway, you let me stay with you for a while, and eventually we got together. And y-you held on f-for five years b-before you forgot." He's openly sobbing, and suddenly his knees are buckling and Thomas is holding him and shushing him and stroking his hair like he used to. Alex cries and let's himself be held for the first time in almost 2 years.

\------

It takes a while, but eventually Alex calms down, and Thomas is watching him with the same kind of tentative affection from that first night all those years ago. It takes him a few tries, but Alex regains the abikity to speak. "Sorry, I-I didn't mean to break down like that." He tries to rub out the lingering tears as Thomas smiles and shakes his head.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry, if I really did forget everything, and I _want_ to believe, I really do. But you hafta admit, it's all a little...."

"Far-fetched?" Alex suggests with a grin, and Thomas nods, biting his lip again. Alex gulps. The urge to take that lip between his teeth rushes at him suddenly, but he wrestles it back. "N-no problem. I mean, I'd be more worried if you did take this all at face value." He glances to the side, wracking his brain. "God, everything that's happened the ladt couple days, I can't think of anything to say that would be proof enough."

Thomas chuckles quietly. "I can't imagine why." He watches Alex think, patiently. That patience turns to curiosity as Alex purses his lips, fidgets, looks like he's debating himself. Curiosity fades to confusion as he's suddenly being pulled to his feet and down the hall.

His face flushes deeply when he realizes Alex is pulling him towards the bedroom. Thomas can't say he's opposed to the idea, but he's suddenly very, very nervous.

"A-ah, Alex, you don't have to d-do this," Thomas swallows thickly, trying to control the butterflies suddenly taking flight in his stomach. His efforts are sabotaged as Alex's grip tightens imperceptibly.

"No, I want to," he responds. _God, I've only wanted to for nearly 2 years,_ he thinks to himself. "Do you?"

Thomas is silent for a moment. Deliberating. Does he? _Hell yes._ Should he?

_Who cares?_

"Y-yes." His answer is breathless, just this side of needy. The tone of it draws a shiver down Alex's sback, heat pooling near the base of his spine. He picks up the pace, breath catching, and all but pushes Thomas into the room.

He turns to close the door, but before it can click shut he's roughly pushed aside as Thomas storms out of the room. Alex tries to take a step towards him, but Thomas whirls around, expression like a thunderstorm.

"Y'know, if you're gonna use the same fuckin sob story twice in one day, you might wanna make sure that the first guy's outta your bed before you move on to the next." His voice is dangerously low, fists clenched, and he looks like he's can't decide whether he wants to scream or cry. Alex is speechless.

"I-I can't believe I almost fuckin fell for it. I mean, I didn't think I was that desperate, but I must be a bigger fool than I thought." He begins to turn to leave, Alex tries to grab his wrist, only to get snarled at. "Leave. Me. Alone. I don't _ever_ want to see your face again, Alexander." The venom in his words shocks Alex into letting go. He storms away, and then the front door slams and Thomas is gone.

Alex is left in the hall, confused, numb and heartbroken and the turn of events.

He barely registers John's quiet snoring in the room behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm not /trying/ to be a tease. Next chapter will be much more emotionally satisfying. :)
> 
> And thank you, everyone, for the supportive comments! I read and appreciate every single one!
> 
> I'm also considering taking prompts/requests, so if you have any, keave a comment or hit me up @charmingduelist on Tumblr!


	4. Jewelry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all Alex needed was a necklace.

He isn't quite sure when he made his way into the living room, or when he sunk into the old armchair, but he is certain that he hasn't moved since. Nor has he slept. His heart feels numb and his mind is filled with something resembling tv static, unable to even try to process what just happened. 

_This must be what it feels like to be struck by lightning on a cloudless day._

The clock on the wall keeps ticking on, even though it feels like time should have stopped, the world should have stopped, and suddenly it's 6 in the morning and John enters the room, wearing a sheepish smile as he shoves some loose curls behind his ears and mutters a shy apology. Alex feels himself smile back, hears himself joke about John needing the rest more than he thought, watches his hand wave as the other man makes his goodbye. He buries his face in his hands, chest heaving in silent dry sobs as if the click of the door was the trigger needed for everything to catch up to him.

\-----

Alex is in the kitchen by the time his phone rings, three hours later. No longer sobbing but still feeling hollow and numb, he wouldn't have answered the phone if the screen hadn't said 'Eliza'. Working a weak smile that she can't even see, he answers with an overly cheerful 'hello!'.

" _Hey, Alex. Are you still home?"_

"Uh, yeah, at the moment. I'm heading out soon, though." Of course, it was a lie. In general, he hates lying, especially to her, but he wasn't really in the _mood_ for anymore visits.

_"Oh, alright. In that case, would you still be there in 20 minutes? I found a box of your stuff shoved way in the back of one of the closets yesterday morning. I meant to bring it over, but it must have slipped my mind."_

"Y-yeah, I'll be here. See ya soon." He hangs up without preamble. His brain is working, sluggishly, around a half-formed thought. A hope trying to take root without permission. He looks at the bookshelves in the other room, filled with two years worth of desparate writings. Writings meant to leave behind some trace that he existed. Writings where his first name was as specific a marker as he could leave of himself.

Alex sits down heavily, trying to connect dots he isn't entirely sure exist. In his head, he creates an itemized list to try and organize his thoughts.

_1)After the curse, any picture he took would come out over- or under-exposed._  
2)Anytime he tried to publish his name online, the files would be corrupted. It was part of the reason he'd been using pseudonyms.  
3)Printing his name on paper always caused the paper to become illegible. Spills, ink corruptions, something would always destroy the document unless he used only his first name.  
4)Nothing before the curse took effect showed any sign of change.  
5)Thinking back on the day Eliza forgot him, he realizes that he was the reason the box had been packed when he was going insane cleaning. The moment both him and his things were out of sight, she forgot.  
6)It could be that she just didn't mention, but evidence suggests Eliza only remembered him getting 'fired' after rediscovering his things. 

It isn't solid, and the theory has plenty of holes. Hands shaking, he dials Aaron.

"Alexander? What is it?" He sounds surprised. Alex never did call him much.

"Just a question. Did you happen to find any of my stuff from the office recently?" 

"Actually, yes. Washington had me go over some of Cromwell's older stuff the night you came back. There must've been some sort of clerical error, I recognized most of the things under his name were things I'd seen of yours." There's a brief pause. "They actually started around the time you disappeared. He started around that time, too.... Would you like me to have some sent over?"

Alex swallows thickly. "Yeah, if you don't mind. Thanks." He takes a shuddering breath, mind back to racing.

 _Is it really possible that me being forgotten had something to do with mementos? It would make sense if Aaron and John forgot right away; anything of mine wouldn't be something they'd see every day._ He allows himself to feel another wave of hope. If that's true, then there's still a chance Thomas might remember! _But....if Thomas lost something after holding onto it for five years, what are the odds he's ever going to find it? If it as simple as something reminding him of me, he would have when he came by. What did he even have in the first place?_

And just like that, the hope vanishes. Alex hopes he's wrong, that maybe Thomas will remember with time, that Eliza remembered so quickly because it was only two weeks. Maybe Thomas will follow suit in a couple of days. 

He's pulled out his reverie by a gentle knock. Summoning his smile, he gets up to answer.

\-------

 _One box, my ass,_ Alex thinks with minor irritation. He had only put away the one, but Eliza decided to stop at their old storage unit on his behalf and bring over _everything._ It's more work than he had expected to sift through, but if he's being honest he's thankful for the distraction. It's kept him from panicking; four days had passed and Thomas still hasn't even called. A small voice tells him it's alright, these things take time. A larger voice scoffs, _Eliza remembered about an event that occured a week after the curse took effect, the night you got back. You went to Thomas two weeks later. He should remember by now, if all it takes it time._

Alex sighs, jacket hanging from his hand as he slumps over yet another box. _You know, you'd be done a lot sooner if you quite doing this....and if you didn't spend hours looking at every. Single. Thing._ He huffs. That small voice is _not_ fucking helpful in his current mood. 

In its defense. Not much would beat the moment. He's given up nearly all hope that Thomas will remember. He suspects his theory is right, that it will take a memento that means something to whoever has it. And if that's the case, the odds are next to zero that Thomas will ever regain memory of those years.

When Alex sets aside the box of clothes and pulls another towards him, it's that despair that is at the forefront of his mind. It's that despair that takes special interest in the antique six-shot pistol buried amongst other strange heirlooms he's inherited in the past. It's that despair that begins whispering to him as he examines the gun almost scientifically, brows slightly furrowed in thought. He spins the cylinder, pops it open, checks the firing mechanisms. He removes a bullet from the box of ammunition next to where the gun had oreviously rested, holds it between his thumb and forefinger, checking it from all angles. He hums as the whispering grows louder, bites his lip as he considers their propsal. He glances back at the gun in his hand. 

_Okay,_ he thinks, and the whispers fall silent.

Expression unchanged, he slides the bullet into a chamber, snaps the cylinder back into place and gives it a spin. 

\-------

Thomas is still in NYC. Why? Because he is _pissed the fuck off_ and knows it would be pointless heading back down to the convention with James in this state of mind. So he stays in New York and sulks.

He's walking along a quiet path in Central Park. The same path he's come to every day for the past week. He can't quite remember how he found one of the few silent areas in the park, but it's been his go-to area to unwind for a while now. Usually, walking it calms Thomas down, but all it's been doing is amplify the hollowness he's felt since he stormed out of Alex's home.

_Alexander._

Thomas still couldn't believe the nerve of him. To come up with such a ridiculously outlandish story, so far out of the realm if reason, and actually get him to start believing it....Thomas thought Hamilton capable of many things, but creating such an elaborate tale to get someone to sleep with him so he could have a laugh once they left? That was a low Thomas hadn't even considered possible.

At least there was some slight comfort in knowing he wasn't the only person to be drawn in. 

Thomas sighs, sprawling onto a weathered bench near the end of the path, lightly pressing a fist to his chest. Another habit he didn't remember acquiring, but there's comfort in the movement. He goes to bury his face in his hands, but he notices a small mark on the arm of the bench he hadn't realized was there. He'd never be able to explain why it captured his attention; his gaze is drawn to it. A simple heart, 'T +A' carved within. The kind of thing you normally see teenagers do. As he inspects it, an oddly vivid image comes to him.

\---

_"Alexander, I don't know what you're doing, bit it's a terrible idea." Thomas laughs as his boyfriend pulls out a pocket knife. The smaller man sticks his tongue out in response._

_"It's a great idea and no one's gonna stop me," he quips, scratching at the arm of the bench gently._

_Thomas grins, amused and a bit curious as to what he was trying to do. "If petty vandalism is your idea of a great idea, you clearly need more sleep, doll."_

_Alex's face reddens slightly at the endearment; exactly the reaction Thomas was aiming for. "I can sleep when I'm dead," he snaps, but there's no heat behind it. He stops carving, pckets the knife, admires his handiwork. "Besides, I thought you were a sucker for this kind of mushy junk." Leaning his head on Alex's shoulder, Thomas looks at the carving. It's his turn to blush, and Alex looks smug. "See, I was right," he purrs, turning and wrapping his arms around Thomas's neck. Thomas chuckles lightly, gripping Alex's waist lightly as he peppers his face with kisses._

_"That you were, sugar. That you were."_

\---

 

Thomas groans, rubs his face, wills away the flush that rose at the mental imagery. He would've thought that with how upset, angry, _humiliated_ Hamilton had made him, these stupid daydreams would've at least toned down some, but if anything, they were coming more frequently and with greater urgency. He constructed an entire scene from some stupid heart that some teens probably left 15 years ago, for God's sake.

And it wasn't the first time this week. A similar thing had happened when he stopped for coffee in a little out-of-the-way cafe near the beginning of the path earlier in the week, and another at the pond a little farther back. 

Sure, Thomas had been very into Alex pretty much since they first met, but after being played like that, he expected the feeling to die. _I guess it'll take more than a night to kill a decade long infatuation,_ he thinks bitterly. 

Sighing again, he rises to his feet, starts walking again, seeking a reprieve from the restless agitation that's been haunting him. At the end of the path, he takes a different turn, hoping to get at least a little lost. Find his way back once he's a little calmer. That's the plan anyway; after only 3 blocks he finds himself stopping. He looks around, wondering what caused his subconscious to halt. He sees a jewelry store, tucked away between a thrift and italian restaurant. Curious and with no real plans anyway, he steps inside, his entrance announced by a cheerful little bell.

He's casually examining a display of bracelets when a small, portly man bustles in from the doorway behind the counter. Thomas is surprised by the joyful look on the man's face.

"Ah, sir! How good to see you again! I wasn't sure if you would ever stop back in!" Thomas smiles back, unsure of what is going on. The man turns and begins rummaging through drawers, continuing cheerfully. "I was certain you'd broken it off and forgotten, but here you are! I'm glad you managed to patch things up; I felt bad that I couldn't even return your payment!" He faces Thomas once more, thrusting a small box and a velvet pouch into his hands. "I must apologize, I'd chat longer, but work is calling. Good luck, sir!" 

And just like that, he vanishes behind the door, leaving Thomas standing alone and incredibly confused in the middle of the shop.

\------

 _What could I possibly have ordered from him?_ Thomas wonders, staring at the objects he's still holding. He's back on the bench, nervous for a reason he can't quite explain. The bag and box hold promises and secrets, and Thomas dreads opening them. It's a feeling not dissimilar to waiting for a plunge on a roller coaster. 

It takes him longer than he'd like to admit to open the box. After the week he's had, he's not sure if he can handle any more emotional blows. He almost laughs at how anticlimactic it is when he sees a ring.

It's gold, with a bright pink gem he immediately recognizes as spinel. There's small triangles etched in a simple geometric pattern all around it; it's exactly the kind of ring he would wear if it weren't 3 sizes too small. It barely made it to the first knuckle of his pinky. Between the jeweler's rambling gushing and the size disparity, Thomas is immensely confused. He feels something inside, and looks to see writing.

_Vous êtes un cul complet._

He snorts, still confused but less on edge. He upends the bag, hoping its contents prove less enigmatic. A small locket tumbles into his open hand. It has the same stone in the center, the same geometric design around it. Inside, the same quote on one half; on the other, a picture of Alexander, middle fingers extended.

Thomas's heart skips a beat. It's the necklace he'd gotten from Alex as a secret santa gift the Christmas Alex had joined the company. That party was one of Thomas's fonder memories of him.

\---

_"Wow, I wonder who this could be from," Thomas drawls sarcastically, snapping the pendant shut. Alex glowers at him from the refreshment table. Thomas can't help the smirk that makes its way onto his face. "I have to admit, despite the contents, this is a surprisingly thoughtful gift."_

_He meant for it to be a moderately heartfelt compliment, but judging by Alex's deepening scowl it came out mocking. "I might hate you, but I happen to like Christmas more." He fiddles with his own gift; a riduculously fancy fountain pen that Thomas spent a riduculous amount of time picking out. Not that he'd ever admit that to Alex. "Besides, it's a gaudy ass necklace to match that gaudy ass suit you're so fond of."_

_Thomas laughs. There's none of the usual heat behind the words; Alex was serious about liking Christmas more than disliking him. Even though they spend the rest of the night bickering, it's almost comfortable._

\---

Thomas blinks, startled by the tears in his eyes. _I almost forgot. No, I_ did _forget. How?_ He reaches back, secures the locket around his neck. His hand rises to grasp the pendant where it lies on his chest, taking comfort in the gesture. 

He'd worn this necklace every day for years, hidden where no one could see. So how did the jeweler have it? He wracks his brain, and suddenly everything comes back in a massive wave that leaves him dazed.

_Alex stumbling in the streets, distressed and barely coherent._

_Alex staring emotionlessly at his water as James asks who Thomas's friend is._

_Alex laughing the next day as Thomas attempts the most awkward hug in the universe._

_Alex reclining on the couch, venting, until suddenly he has Thomas's mouth on his lips, his body on his lips, his name on his lips and then he's crying and Thomas has his lips every that they can reach._

_Alex dragging him along this path at night, somehow convincing him to go skinnydipping in the pond, both caught in the thrill of each other and the possibility of being seen._

_Alex making a game of messing with James every time he came to visit, wringing the slightest bit of joy from the curse._

_Alex spending every anniversary trying to outdo the last, over the top romantic gestures straight out of the movies that made Thomas melt every time._

_Anniversary...June 1st, wasn't that the day they decided?_ Thomas thought, dizzy from the headrush of five years coming back at once. _Today's June 1st. Huh._ He glances at the ring in his hand, and his eyes fly wide open.

It's an engagement ring. He was going to propose the day after their fifth anniversary. What happened? Why hadn't he?

His thoughts are still disorganized not quite putting all the pieces of the puzzle together yet, but one thing is clear: Alex hadn't lied. He'd forgotten, the day he was going to propose, and Alex had left, alone and with no where and no one to turn to. 

Thomas's heart clenches, and he jumps to his feet, nearly dropping the ring. _God, he went through all that, tried to tell me, and I yelled at him and stormed off._ He begins running, hurrying as quickly as he can to his car. _I hope he can forgive me._

\---------

Alex takes a deep breath, trying not to flinch from the ring of steel against his temple. The small voice in his head is panicked, trying to persuade him.

What if Thomas remembers and comes back to find you dead? 

_If I thought that was likely, I wouldn't be here right now,_ he thinks back at it, pulling the trigger. 

**Click.** One empty chamber spent.

What about Eliza? It would break her heart to find you dead after just finding you alive. 

_She moved on once already. Got married and got a kid. She'll be fine._

**Click.**

Or John? Lafayette? Hercules? 

_All will move on j-_ His retort is cut off by an insistent knocking at the door. He freezes, waits. It comes again and Alex holds his breath. The last thing he wants is a visitor. A minute passes, and as he releases his breath, he pulls the trigger again.

**Click.**

The voice has fallen silent, and Alex is about to go through the last three chambers quickly when he hears the door open. He barely has a chance to realise he forgot to lock up when he's tackled to the ground, gun skittering across the floor. 

**_BANG._ **

He hears the bullet strike wood, and looks up to see a very wide eyed Thomas above him. He's breathing heavily and shaking violently, like he just got done swimming laps in icewater. His legs are on either side of Alex's hips, and he's pinned his hands on the ground to either side of his head. It's a familiar position that makes Alex want to laugh if he hadn't just had the wind knocked out of him.

"What were you thinking?" Thomas's voice is hoarse, cracking, desperate. His eyes are desperate. The grip on Alex's wrists is desperate. Like his world might shatter if he dares let go. Alex gives him a sad smile.

"Well, you said you never wanted to see me again. I was working on it." His tone is too glib, to cheerful. He can pinpoint the exact moment that it breaks Thomas's heart, and revels in it. The smallest victory. _At least if he doesn't remember our time, he'd still be hurt by my death,_ Alex thinks with some small amount of satisfaction. Satisfaction that disappears as soon as Thomas speaks again.

"I remember." Alex's eyes widen, and Thomas continues quickly, as if something terrible will happen if he doesn't get the words out fast enough. "I remember everything, and I'm so, so fucking sorry I forgot. I'm so sorry for what I said, I was hurt and confused and didn't mean a damn word of it, and I'm so sorry that I- that I drove you this fucking far." He's crying, tears falling onto Alex's cheeks. "Alex, I love you so damn much it hurts, and I can't believe I ever forgot about that for even a second, or that I hurt you so much." He brings a hand to Alex's cheek, wiping away both of their tears that had settled. 

"Thomas..." Alex can only get out his name, breathy and broken, before he starts sobbing in earnest, body shaking as he finds himself being held once again. Thomas is rocking him gently, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, except they're not nothing because _he remembers and he's still mine_ and the tiny voice is trying to gloat but he shuts it out. All he wamts to focus on is the feeling of Thomas's arms around him, Thomas's voice in his ear, everything _Thomas_ that he never thought he'd live to enjoy again.

It takes a long while, but Alex stops crying. When he does, he nearly drowns in the adoration and fear in Thomas's eyes. Feels his heart skip a beat when he speaks. "Please promise never to try anything like that again. I-I don't know what I would have done if I'd come in and found d-" he doesn't get a chance to finish before Alex cuts him off with a tentative kiss.

"I promise." Thomas stares at him for a long moment before drawing him back into his embrace. His face is buried in the crook of Alex's neck, and his whispering _God, Alex, Alex, Alex, christ_ over and over like a mantra. Alex feels tears coming back, but before they can spill, Thomas is pulling away and rummaging in his pockets.

He's about to question it when suddenly Thomas is holding a ring. "I know the timing couldn't be worse and that after all this I don't deserve you, but I meant to ask two years ago and I can't risk anything happening again." He's staring, gaze intense and vulnerable as he lifts Alex's left hand, kisses it in a way that sends electricity through him. 

"Alexander Hamilton, will you marry me?"

And suddenly Alexis crying again, grin splitting his face as he peppers Thomas with kisses. They're both crying, and as Thomas slips the ring onto Alex's finger he notices the pendant. He startles Thomas with a laugh.

"Oh my fucking god, out of everything it could have been, it's the damn necklace that did it. Of course." He laughs again at his fiance's - _God, he's my fiance_ \- expression, shakes his head. "I'll explain later."

Thomas grins. "We'll have plenty of time. I'm never lettin you go again, and I swear to make it all up to you, doll." 

Alex flushes and grins back. "Damn right you are." They're both laughing even as he pulls Thomas in for a _proper_ engagement kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, almost finished. But first, I have a serious question:
> 
> would you guys like me to attempt a smut chapter, or skip straight to the cheesy romantic epilogue? Vote now in the comments! ;)


	5. Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex suggests an engagement celebration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: as this is the first fic I've ever written, this is also the only smut I've ever written. Read at your own risk.
> 
> Good luck.

As Alex pulls away to catch his breath, Thomas trails a line of kisses along his jaw, down his neck, onto the sweet spot near his shoulder. There he stays, licking and sucking gently in a way that has Alex absolutely _melting,_ a small moan forming in the back of his throat before it breaks off in a ragged gasp as Thomas bites down. He takes his time, working the area thoroughly, and it takes Alex a moment to remember how to speak

"H-hey, you said you w-wanted to make it all up to me?" He barely manages to pant. _Damn,_ he thinks when Thomas hums in confirmation, the sound traveling from where lips meet skin to send a shiver down his spine. He feels Thomas smirk. "Well, y-you kind of ran out last week. Maybe we could resume where we lef-" He doesn't even get to finish speaking before suddenly he's being carried down the hall. He let's out a startled laugh as he swats his fiancé on the shoulder. 

"Y'know, I _can_ walk." Thomas merely chuckles and nuzzles Alex's cheek affectionately.

"Well, I also said I wasn't ever lettin' you go again, doll, and I meant it." He gives Alex another tender kiss, kicking the door shut and settling on the bed - after a brief glance to ensure it's unoccupied. Alex catches the look and grins apologetically, wasting no time in straddling Thomas.

"Sorry, I promise that he is fully conscious and at least half a city away this time." He's about to lean down for another kiss, before he catches sight of his nightstand. He buries his face in a hand, looking lime he's either crying or about to crack up. Confused, Thomas turns to look at what distracted his fiancé. He can't help a slight smile himself when he sees the lube and condoms sitting there.

"I think he forgot something on his way out." Alex snorts, and gives that apologetic smile again.

"God, I haven't stepped foot in here since you left. I'm sorry, I promise absolutely nothing happened beyond me all but chasing him away with a stick." He looks so vulnerable, like he's worried that Thomas might not believe him, and it melts the larger man's heart. He kisses Alex with urgency, doing his best to alleviate those fears.

"Don't worry, sugar, I believe you," Thomas murmurs against his lips. "I know you wouldn't." And suddenly he's trailed down again, biting and sucking on the already-dark bruise on his shoulser with a vengeance, and all Alex can do is bite his lip as he tries to stifle his gasps and moans. "Besides," he says, moving to do the same to the other side of his neck. "I can't blame him for wanting to take his shot as soon as possible. I know I nearly did. Luckily for me, there's one key difference between us." He begins trailing kisses back up Alex's jaw until he's by his ear. Alex shivers as Thomas's hot breath washes over him.

"A-and what would that be, " his voice comes out quieter than he intended, and his heart is pounding louder than he thought possible.

Thomas smirks. "You're _mine,"_ he whispers roughly, and Alex can feel the heat pooling in his stomach. He whimpers and suddenly Thomas's lips are on his again, urgent and insistent, and it's all Alex can do to keep up with the feverish pace, and when Thomas pulls away the room is spinning. 

"Sorry," he says again, because that's all the capacity for thought he has left. Thomas laughs again, pulls him closer as he kisses along Alex's jaw. 

"No need to apologize doll, I understand. And you know what? I do believe we were under prepared for this, so I'm willing to look at it as an early engagement gift." Despite his immensely flustered state, Alex still slaps him lightly on the arm.

"Don't say that, you ass. I'll never be able to look him in the eye again." He manages to laugh, tone teasing, and Thomas realizes all at once how absolutely _fucked_ he is for this man. And then Alex is trying to push him down onto the bed and once again Thomas is smirking.

Tutting disapprovingly, he takes Alex's wrists in one hand and gently lowers him to the bed, pinning his arms above him. Alex let's go of a high pitched whine that has Thomas flushing. "Ah, ah, doll. I said I was gonna make it up to you tonight, so I get to do the heavy lifting." Alex pouts, and it takes all the willpower he has not to bite the lip jutting out. Instead, he unbuttons Alex's shirt, nipping, kissing, sucking at the skin as it's exposed. 

Alex shudders, sighs happily as Thomas's mouth traces unseen patterns along his chest, his stomach, his ribs, all signs of protest gone. He closes his eyes, relaxing into the pleasure his fiancé is intent on delivering. They fly back open almost immediately when Thomas's free hand starts twisting and tweaking a nipple, rolling the sensitive nub as Alex moans. He teases Alex mercilessly for a few minutes, littering the small man's torso with countless red marks, and more than a few dark hickies in between. Climbing back up, Thomas gives him a kiss that takes away what little breath he has. 

He looks down, eyes half-lidded with a curious combination of lust and absolute adoration. When he strokes Alex's face, he nuzzles into the touch, much to Thomas's delight. "Babe, if I let your hands go, do you promise to behave?" He watches his reaction closely, as if he's trying to memorize every second. 

_Probably is, the dork._

Face red, breath ragged, an obvious tent in his pants, Alex responds exactly the way Thomas expects him to.

"No." He's pouting again, and this time Thomas doesn't bother reigning in the urge to bite it. Alex moans softly, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. He pulls away all too soon, evidenced by another whine being pulled from Alex.

"Now will you behave?" His only response comes in the form of Alex puffing his cheeks and turning his head away. He chuckles. "Alright, suit yourself." He starts to withdraw, moving as though he were about to leave - _as if anything could make that a possibility at this point_ \- and watches Alex's reaction.

The effect is immediate. He turns back quickly enough that Thomas almost worries about whiplash, and his gets a look in his eyes that's equal parts calculating and worried. Trying to decide if Thomas is bluffing and if it's worth trying to call it. He decides very quickly that it's not.

"Wait, no, okay, I promise I'll behave, I'll be good, just don't go," he says in a rush. There's a hint of - it's hard to identify - fear? desperation? that makes Thomas feel a little bad for the teasing, but he hides the guilt the same way he's been hiding it all night: with a grin and a kiss. He releases his hold on Alex, and he immediately moves his hands to ball them into the sheets. 

Thomas moves back down the bed until his hands rest lightly on Alex's hips. Nudging gently, the smaller man takes the hint and raises his hips, allowing Thomas to yank his jeans and boxers down in one smooth motion. Alex gasps as his erection is exposed to the air, and again when Thomas gently blows the tip. 

Thomas's grin grows. Every sound that escapes Alex's lips is like hearing the opening bars of a song you love but hadn't heard in years, and Thomas can't wait til he makes his fiancé _sing._

A moment passes, silence only disrupted by Alex's ragged breathing, and he's actually about to ask what's taking so long when suddenly he feels Thomas lick up the underside of his dick in a slow, deliberate stripe and all that comes out is a strangled moan. His hips buck instinctively, only to be pressed back down into the mattress. 

Thomas continues the slow torture, running his tongue along the length, occasionally popping the tip into his mouth and giving it a single suck before moving back down. It has Alex whining and panting above him, knuckles white as he grips the sheets tightly in a valiant attempt to 'behave'. It's too much teasing, far too slow for Alex's liking, and he knows Thomas knows this.

"F-fuck, Thomas, would it k-kill you to h-hur-" he begins, but he doesn't get a chance to finish before Thomas sinks down, taking his dick nearly to the base in one go. He sets a merciless pace, bobbing up and down as quickly as he can manage and Alex comes undone above him. 

"Oh god, Thomas, jesus fuck christ Thomas-" he's babbling, unaware of what he's saying but compelled to speak. Every so often his hips buck up, but Thomas's gentle grip keep them in place. He feels his orgasm approaching and tries to hold it back, tries to choke out a warning - "T-Thomas, I'm gonna-" - and suddenly Thomas takes him in all the way and he's seeing white as he cums with a loud groan.

He's still trying to blink away stars as Thomas releases his dick with a ' _pop!'_ , licking his lips and shooting Alex a wink that makes him flush deeper and cover his face. Thomas chuckles, draws himself back up the bed to kiss Alex - only to be pushed away with a glare.

"There is no way in hell you're kissing me after that," Alex purses his lips as Thomas grins.

"Aw, why not, babe? You taste amazing."

Alex covers his face again and rolls away from him. "Thomas, oh my _god. Never say that again,_ " he whines. Thomas chuckles, rolling to follow him and wrap an arm around the smaller man's waist.

"Come on, you know you love it when I talk dirty," he whispers teasingly, pressing a soft kiss behind Alex's ear. Meanwhile, something not nearly as soft presses into the back of his thigh. "And I wouldn't be opposed if you returned the favor. Tell me what you want me to do, doll," he breaths, kissing the back of his neck while he waits for a response. 

There's silence for a moment, and Thomas almost thinks Alex might have fallen asleep. But then Alex turns around, looks him in the eye and whispers, "Fuck me until I can't walk straight". Alex grins in triumph as he feels Thomas's dick twitch against his leg. He reaches behind him, grabs the lube and condom off the night stand, tosses them to his fiancé. 

No sooner is the bottle in Thomas's hand than he's in between Alex's legs, roughly pulling his jeans off the rest of the way. He hears the cap snap open, imagines Thomas coating his fingers, screws his eyes shut and tenses when a finger comes into contact with his entrance. "Remember sugar, hands to yourself," is his only warning before the finger plunges inside, thrusting in and out in a languid rhythm. Alex balls his hands back into the sheets as he tries to grind down onto Thomas's hand, trying to draw his finger in as deep as possible.

Thomas clicks his tongue, withdraws his finger. "Patience, darling, patience," he says admonishingly in response to Alex's whine, but reapplies the lube before obliging and adding a second finger. He picks up the pace slightly, scissoring and rubbing and thrusting and Alex is a moaning mess. He grins again as Alex _keens,_ focusing on the bundle of nerves he just rediscovered as he carefully adds in a third finger. 

Soon, he's pistoning his fingers rapidly, making sure to rub against Alex's prostate as often as possible. Alex is gasping and panting, moaning _Thomas, Thomas, Thomas_ as he begins to tighten around the fingers inside of him. He sobs as they're suddenly removed, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. His hips rise from the bed, dick straining in the air for any kind of friction. He doesn't hear the sound of Thomas tearing the condom wrapper and so nearly jumps out of his skin when Thomas grabs his hips and positions his cock at his entrance.

"Are you ready babe?" He whispers, gazing at Alex with such adoration that he shivers. He nods, and Thomas leans down to kiss him as he slowly sinks inside. Alex moans into the kiss, parting his lips eagerly despite his earlier protests. It's sloppy and even though there's nothing there Alex swears he can taste himself of Thomas's lips. The thought makes him clench, pulling a deep groan from Thomas. 

They stay like that for a moment, until Alex bucks his hips in silent encouragement. It's all the permission Thomas needs to begin thrusting slowly, long, deep strokes that curl Alex's toes and and steal his breath. After taking a minute to adjust, he starts thrusting downwards in sync, eliciting another moan from Thomas.

"Oh, god, Thomas, come on, faster harder, please please please-" Alex gasps, blinking stars away as Thomas brushes against his prostate. He moans again as Thomas draws his legs off the bed, and Alex immediately wraps them around his waist , allowing Thomas to reach even deeper as his pace increases. 

As Thomas bends down to kiss him again, Alex pants, hard and heavy. He pulls back, whimpering. "Oh Thomas, oh god I'm so close, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna, god Thomas-" 

Thomas smiles, breathing just as ragged. "S'alright, babe, me too." He wraps a hand around Alex's dick, giving it a couple of pumps as he whispers "Cum for me," and suddenly Alex clenches as he's kissed again white washes over him, cum splattering against their chests. He feels Thomas shudders as he releases into the the condom, giving a couple more sporadic pumps before pulling out all the way. 

Alex vaguely registers Thomas when walks into the bathroom, hears the toilet flush and the sink run. He hums in contentment when Thomas comes back with a damp towel and gently wipes the cum off his chest before tossing it to the ground and finally, _finally_ collapsing on the bed.

Alex wastes no time in cuddling up to the other and sighs happily as an arm makes its way around his waist.

_Wait a fuckin second._

"You ass, you're still fully dressed," he laughs tiredly, wriggling out of the embrace. He smiles as Thomas swipes at his wrist, grunting unhappily.

"Baaaaabe, come back." The whine is obscenely adorable, but Alex pulls away grinning

"Not until you lose the pants. They chafe."

Thomas throws a hand over his face, groaning dramtically. "Fiiiiine, babe. Only cause you asked nicely." He gets up and shimmies out of his slacks so quickly Alex has to bite a knuckle to keep from laughing. Thomas goes ahead and slides out of his shirt for good measure before rejoining Alex on the bed in nothing but his boxers. "Better?"

Alex nods, sidling back up to him. "Much," he says, giving him a small peck before tucking his face in the crook of Thomas's neck. Thomas replaces his arm around his waist, pressing a kiss of his own to Alex's forehead.

Alex hums. "Love ya, Thomas." The three words make Thomas's heart flutter slightly, even as his breathing slows and his eyes slide shut.

"Love you too, doll," comes the quiet reply. 

Alex's pulls in closer to the embrace, sighing happily as they both doze off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, suprisingly enough it was mostly schedule conflicts and not content that caused the delay. Anyway, home stretch is rapidly approachig. I'm thinking maybe two chapters to go, one with everyone's reactions and then a short one with the actual wedding. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up by the end of the week, I promise! :)


	6. Slip of the Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas can't keep a secret to save his life.

".....Come again?" 

Thomas claps a hand to his mouth. He hadn't realized he said that aloud. Swallowing nervously, he gives James a tentative grin. "I said I'm engaged?"

James is silent for a moment, expression unchanging, and for a second Thomas thinks _Holy shit, he mad_ before James himself breaks into a grin, reaching across the table and clapping Thomas on the shoulder. "Congrats! Never thought I'd live to see the day you settled down. I always figured you'd give me a heart attack first." Thomas huffs, but he visibly relaxes. And then tenses when James asks the question he least wants to answer. "So, who's the poor sucker you tricked into saying yes?"

Thomas looks away, fiddles with the edge of the tablecloth. "Uh, funny thing, actually..." James laughs at his friend's uncharacteristic shyness.

"Come on, you can tell me."

Thomas chews his lip nervously, glancing up at the other. "If I tell you, do you promise not to laugh or get mad?"

".....I don't like where this is going, but fine. I promise."

Thomas takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he steels himself. "Hamilton."

".....As in, Alexander Hamilton?" Thomas opens his eyes. The unreadable expression on his friend's face makes him even more nervous as he nods. "As in, the Alexander Hamilton that just got back barely a month ago after going missing with amnesia for seven years? _That_ Alexander Hamilton."

"Yes and if you say his name like that one more time I'm going to scream."

"And I'm going to call bullshit." Suddenly James leans across the table, looking very closely at Thomas's face. Thomas jerks back instinctively, but James continues. "Are you on something right now? That's not like you."

Thomas huffs, swatting away the hand that Madison tries to turn his face with. " _No,_ you know I don't do drugs." He gently shoves his friend back into his chair and gestures to the ring on his left hand. "Not BS, but it's a long story that you're not gonna believe."

"Try me. I'm willing to hear anything that proves that you're not high as balls."

"This might be difficult then."

James pinches the bridge of his nose. "And why would that be?"

Thomas grins roguishly. "Because the story involves a witch and a curse."

Abandoning all pretense of patience, James buries his head in his hands. "Oh my god, you _are_ on something." Thomas laughs. More bitter than cheerful, but enough to seal away any doubts James might have had. "Okay, I think you need to lay down."

Thomas smirks. "Can't. Finally convinced Alex to go to bed at 4 and I don't wanna wake him."

" _Thomas."_

"James." Thomas mocks. James glares, and he feels a bit guilty.

 _It's not like I'm trying to be an ass. I'm at least telling the truth,_ he reasons, but it does little to comfort him. However, the sound of footsteps approaching from down the hall do. James turns to face the sound, curious, and Thomas can't help but relish the surprise on James's when Alex rounds the corner, yawning.

\------

Alex enters the kitchen, face scrunched up in a rather catlike manner as he yawns and makes a beeline for the coffee pot. He doesn't bother turning when he hears the scraping of a kitchen chair; he just leans back comfortably when Thomas makes his way over to embrace him. He hums at the light kiss placed on his head.

"Morning, Tommy."

"Mornin', babe. Sleep well?"

" 'S best I could knowing I had to get up at this ungodly hour."

"Doll, it's already 9."

"I normally sleep til noon."

"You normally stay up til dawn."

"....Touche." Alex concedes defeat as he finishes fixing his cup. As he takes a sip, his mind starts working enough to remember yesterday. "Hey, didn't you say James was coming over this morning? Did he have to postpone or something."

He can feel Thomas trying to stifle a chuckle. He's very much confused until his fiancé speaks.

"Nope," Thomas says, popping the 'p'. "He's sitting at the table right now."

Alex nearly drops his mug as he whips around, peering over Thomas's shoulder to meet the gaze of a very confused James Madison.

Taking half a step back, he grabs the collar of Thomas's shirt and drags him down to his eye level. Alex takes a small bit of pleasure in seeing how nervous the taller man looks. "Thomas, what the actual fuck did you do," he practically hisses.

Thomas raises his hands defensively. "Babe, babe, don't be too mad, ok? I maaaaay have let it slip that I got engaged-" he pauses as Alex inhales sharply. "And, uh, I'm a terrible fuckin liar so I may have told him about us." He smiles nervously when Alex let's go of his collar and buries his face in his hands.

"Okay. I can work around that. Did you tell him anything else?" Alex asks, rather calmer than he was a moment ago. Though, he doesn't like the way that his fiancé refuses to make eye contact. "Thomas..."

"Imayhavetoldhimaboutthewitchandthecurse."

"..."

"Er, technically just that there was a witch and a curse. No specifics."

"..."

"Alex? Babe?" Thomas bites his lip, unsure of what to think as Alex presses his hands together in front of him and slowly inhales.

By the time Alex speaks, his voice is suprisingly level. "Thomas, go get a bottle of whiskey or whatever the hell it is you two drink, because I feel like James is probably going to need it by the time I finish cleaning up this mess." Thomas simply nods in meek acquiescence and leaves to comply. Alex makes his way to sit opposite Madison, who hadn't made a sound during their entire whispered conversation.

"James."

"Alexander."

Alex sighs, rubbing his jaw. "Christ, there's no good way to go about this."

"Whatever 'this' is. What's going on here?" James asks. Not as accusatory as Alex expected; mostly like he just wants to make sense of the situation. Thomas didn't exactly do the best job of breaking the news.

"Well, it's pretty much what Thomas said. We're engaged." 

"Okay. Accepting that as fact, what about the other part. The 'curse'," James airquotes the last word, sarcasm practically dripping from it. Alex is about to answer when Thomas reenters, sliding the bottle towards his friend before he pulls up a chair next to Alex. James raises a brow in question; Alex shrugs apologetically in answer.

"Figured you might need it. This is a hell of a story." James purses his lips, but doesn't push the bottle away. "Ok. So, the curse." 

James nods. "Yes. Exactly what kind of drugs are you both taking to be having the same ridiculous hallucination?"

Alex huffs. "De ja fucking vu. Not drugs. Curse. From a witch I royally pissed off." James snorts.

"That part I can believe." 

"ANYWAY. She cursed me so everyone would forget about me. And over time pretty much everyone did. Eliza lasted second longest, but even she only held on for two weeks. When she forgot, I ran out and into Thomas. I told him about, he, like you, thought I was on some weird trip and just kinda...dragged me here." This time it's Thomas's turn to snort, but he doesn't comment. "He actually invited you over for drinks that night; the only reason he believed me was because you didn't recognize me."

"Because of the curse."

"Yup. After that, it's pretty simple. We got together, he eventually forgot, and I had to figure somethjng else out."

James looks away, staring intently at the wall. After a moment, he uncaps the whiskey and pours a generous amount into his coffee. He downs the cup before continuing. "Okay, _assuming_ this is true, how come everyone remembers you going missing? Shouldn't we have all realized that we completely ignored your existence for seven years?"

Alex shrugs again. "I think when she lifted it, part of the magic stayed or something. Like, false memories to make sense of not thinking anything of me disappearing. Although, Eliza remembered the two weeks, but she just thinks she's got the timing mixed up with some other date."

"Then how did Thomas suddenly remember the time you two dated?"

Alex is about to speak when he's cut off by his fiancé. "That's the thing, I didn't at first. I only remembered after I stopped at a jeweler I apparently went to and got my necklace back. With the rings, of course." He grins. "And lemme tell ya, it's pretty damn disorienting to realize you forgot five years of your life. And I swear, Jem, in those five years I reintroduced you to him no less than a hundred times."

James manages to smile back, but his amusement doesn't prevent him from refilling his cup. "Well, I suppose I can see _some_ weird logic in that, but it's still pretty damn hard to believe," he says, sipping his whiskey. "I want to believe. I don't want to think my best friend has gone absolutely insane and is being conned by the guy he crushed on for years-" Thomas flushes brightly "-but without tangible proof, I really can't."

Alex smirks at Thomas's embarassment, but tries to retain focus. "I mean, the best proof would be for you to remember, obviously. But from what I can tell, the only way to really do that is if you had something that you associated with me from before the curse. Lizzie found her old scrapbooks, Thomas got his locket - still can't believe you kept the damn thing. Or modeled our damn rings after it," he directs at his flustered partner. "But I sincerely doubt you kept anything that would make you think of me."

James snorts again. "You doubt correctly. Although...." he trails off, suddenly deep in thought. Alex waits patiently for him to continue. Thomas does not.

"Although?" The tall man leans forward expectantly. Alex has to hide a grin; Thomas had been on edge ever since he sat down. Not something Alex gets to see every day.

"Although....do you guys remember our graduation picture?"

"Which one? The honor roll photo?" Thomas suddenly smirks. He looks like he's connecting dots that Alex can't even see. James nods.

"It's the only thing I own that I connect with you. No offense, but you ruined that picture."

"Excuse me-"

"I said no offense. Besides, you blocked like three other people with that stupid ass pose."

"....Point taken. Well, it's something."

James stands, downing the rest of his drink. "Here, I'll be right back. I think I know where I left it." And just like that, he's out the door. Thomas slumps in his seat.

"Jesus Christ."

"Hey, he didn't start this. It's on you."

Thomas laughs. "Oh, hush. I can't fuckin believe I blabbed like that."

Alex grins in response. "Yes you can. You warned me last week that you didn't think you could keep it under wraps." He clears his throat to reenact the scene.

\-------

_"Alex."_

_"Thomas."_

_"Alex."_

_"Thomas."_

_"Aleeeeeeeex."_

_Alex turns in his office chair, facing his whining partner. "What?"_

_"Doll, if I can't tell someone about our engagement soon I'm going to_ explode," _he complains. Alex scoffs._

_"Don't be so dramatic. Besides, you know exactly why we can't tell anyone."_

_"I_ know _, babe, but tbat doesn't change the fact that if I don't get a chance to show you off, I'll die."_

_Alex stands from his work, and goes to lay across Thomas, who immediately clings to him like a vine. "You know I'm trying to work around it."_

_Thomas sighs, cuddling Alex aggressively. "I know, babe, I just hope you catch a break soon."_

\-------

Thomas flushes again, but he can't hide his grin. "Well, what'd I tell ya? I couldn't wait much longer. Besides, I tell Jem everything. It was only a matter of time."

Alex gives him a shit-eating smirk. "Oh yeah, like you told him you had a crush on me? That's adorable, Tommy." Thomas flushes even redder.

"Aleeeeex, come on, we're engaged! You have no room to tease!"

"Still, it's adorable." Thomas groans and hides his face in his hands; Alex laughs and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before their banter is suddenly interrupted by the front door slamming open.

"Thomas, oh my god" James is standing, winded, in the doorway. Both Thomas and Alex grin.

"Jem, did you just run up two fligts of stairs?"

"Yes."

"Are you ok?"

"No."

Thomas laughs as he makes his way over to his friend and helps him into a chair. James nods in thanks, still looking a bit worse for wear.

"So, I take it you remember?" Alex inquires.

"Yes, and let me just say, you are one crazy sonofabitch, Alexander." James grimaces, coughing as he finishes speaking. 

Alex just grins. "Hey, I was just trying to make a lasting impression."

"Fuck you, Hamilton," he says once his coughing fit recedes. He glances up at Thomas. "Okay, now that I know you're not insane, you can tell me about the engagement."

Thomas lights up like a Christmas tree, and as he pours him and James a drink, Alex dismisses himself, resuming his work as he listens to his fiancé gush in the kitchen.

 _Well, that could've been a lot worse,_ he muses, fingers flying across the keys. He hears Thomas start discussing ideas about the wedding, and he just sounds so giddy that it makes Alex blush. _God, he's such a dork. My dork,_ he thinks with a sudden clarity and bloom of warmth in his chest. He hadn't realized til now that the whole thing seemed slightly unreal until they had a chance to share the news. It was a slightly dizzying revelation.

_He's mine. Really and truly mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this took longer than I thought. I had to rewrite the chapter cause my word doc got corrupted, so hopefully this rewrite isn't too terrible. I plan on getting Alex's friends done next; hopefully sooner than this chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me, this is my first fanfic. Reviews and criticisms are greatly appreciated.


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